Ethan and Me
Welcome to the life of a 36 year old man and his son.
I love my life as is, I have a beautiful wife, two girls a 9 year old and a 6 year old who if not for them I would have never been prepared as a dad for my son Ethan who has Down syndrome. I have to be completely honest when we found out that Ethan might have DS I felt like I gave up on life, it completely crushed me, I felt like God had crushed me like an empty soda can and said to me here is your punishment for all the bad things you have done in your life.
When Ethan was born I was excited because I had a son but inside the devil had already taken over (I had already given up). The day after Ethan was born I left the hospital for a few hours to go shower with no intention of going back. I was so depressed and empty inside, I was going home to end it all. As I sat in the shower crying asking God why me all I could do is stare at the gun next to me, I sat there for what felt like hours yet it was only a few minutes. Though thru all the tears and the praying and cursing something happen that changed my life forever.
Not really sure who it was, either my grandfather that was my everything who had died just a few months before Ethan was born or maybe God himself taking care of me grabbed my shoulder and instantly the emptiness and sadness went away and I was filled with everything positive that I needed to go back to my new baby boy. So as if nothing had ever happen I got up and got dressed with my new positive attitude rushed back to be with my wife and just anxiously waited for them to bring my baby boy back. As of that very moment when they brought him in and he was with daddy again I promised him that I would do everything I could possibly do to make sure he knew I would never turn my back on him again.
So then it started my new life with my baby boy. Ethan is 21 months now and wow what a ride it has been, there has not been a dull moment on this ride, my lil boy is amazing he is such a fighter he has proven to all of us that he truly has a heart of a warrior and he never gives up. This boy loves the water don’t matter what water, pool, beach, sink, tub. My blaster will win us a gold medal one day in swimming!!
(God never punished me, He Rewarded me)
Follow Ethan and Me on our journey thru UP’s and Down’s as we challenge life with all it has to throw at us!
Your wife posted this on a Down syndrome board and I'm going to share it with my husband. I think that the needs of fathers are very different than those of mothers and I'm so glad to see a father's perspective! Your son is beautiful, by the way. I see that Ethan loves water....we started Elliot in swimming lessons at 6 months (he's 11 months now). Check out the International Down Syndrome Swimming Organisation. Swimmers from around the world compete. Elliot's not even a year yet, but I envision us all travelling to an exotic locale to watch him win a gold medal!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first blog, I have no face book I have an email I don't care about, but if I can help one DAD cope with our new life then I did more than God asked me to do, now if I help more than one now that just gets me one step closer to heaven.. Hope to hear from many DADS!
ReplyDeleteThank you for opening up and sharing your story. I think the blogging world needs more Dads. Your son is a cutie!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ann the blogging world definatly needs more Dads! This post was pretty amazing, it was very powerful and I was touched by it. It must have taken a lot of courage to write.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I never talk about Down syndrome. A part of me has always been afraid to ask what he really feels. I am going to have him read this, maybe it will help open the lines of communication between us.
You and Erika have a beautiful family, I have enjoyed following her blog and look forward to following yours also, it will be refreshing to hear the Dads perspective in this journey...And hopefully it can be of help to my husband also :)
Thanks for sharing!